Hello,
Your resume was found on one of the job sites. We examined your candidacy and want to offer you a position in our company. If your resume changed, please send us an updated version to email, indicated at the end of the letter.

My name is Natalie Patton, I am a employee manager in the company Natural Resources Inc.

Briefly about our company: we deal with selling and purchasing of certificate on the coal in Europe. The first license for activity in Poland was provided in 1998. Nowadays, we have our offices and employees all over the world. We work with individual clients, as well as with corporations. Our central office is located in Poland.

We offer ideal conditions of work. All our employees are provided with a whole kit to have the possibility of working in every part of the world. Absolutely gratuitous we grant a laptop (brand Dell, HP or Apple) and mobile phone (brand Blackberry or iPhone), we pay for internet access and mobile communication. Once in a year we grant a 2-week vacation on the resorts of Poland.

We aren’t standing still and that is why having the European market conquered we move on to reach the U.S. one. The primary stage – is to form the staff. And namely you are offered a position in dynamically developing company.

At the stage of forming the staff we offer a possibility of flexible schedule or part-time occupancy.

Annual salary is $125,000. We appreciate well-educated employees; that is why if you have MBA, the raise in the salary is granted. Each certificate of degree is individual that is why the markup must be stipulated with head manager, after being accepted for employment.

With the expansion of the influence of our company in the U.S. market, promotion track is naturally granted to you.

We are always glad to answer all your questions and stipulate the conditions of collaboration. You can get in touch with us by phone (from 8 am till 6 pm, Monday-Friday) or through email in any time, convenient for you. We are looking forward to your answer.

Natalie Patton,
Natural Resources Inc
email address

I just got this spam, and I was cracking up reading it. The broken English is, of course, hilarious in its own right, but here are some of my favorite points:

• They found your resume on “one of the job sites.” No need to be specific, you’ll know which one.
• They’re happy to take your phone call, but don’t provide a phone number.
• Having conquered the European coal market, they’re expanding to the US. So presumably, you’d be selling coal here in the states, but your vacation must be taken in Poland.