Archives for “Hatelife”

There are certain things that you just come to expect from a computer technician job. You will work in a dungeon. The office will either ...

I am a procrastinator. I put things off until the last minute. They do get done, but I just don't have any motivation to do ...

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - The world was saddened by the sudden loss of 21 year old Katherine (KT) Prew yesterday morning. While visiting San ...

In my old building, the fire alarm wasn't that irritating. It was out in the hallway, and the concrete walls and unusually thick door stopped ...

PORTLAND, OR - Discovered amongst the smoldering wreckage of his computer, 22-year-old Scott Henry Vandehey was proclaimed dead in his apartment early Monday morning. Authorities ...

Tuesday night: I reorganize my record collection; I often do this at periods of emotional stress. There are some people who would find this a ...

"If high school is supposed to be the best time of our whole life, then I'm in a lot of trouble." -- Laura I don't miss high ...

goddammit... My friend's wedding is this weekend, at the beach. This is a good thing. Annie and I made plans with my parents to go ...

yuk... 80s music sucks. But I can't wait until they have a "best of the 90s" station. I'll probably hate it, because they'll be playing ...

"Ladies and Gentlemen. We are Red Elvises. Your favorite band!" Oh man. Just like last time, these guys blew me away. They are without a moment's ...

"Our vibrations were getting nasty -- but why? I was puzzled, frustrated. Was there no communication in this car? Had we deteriorated to the level ...

I just got an email from my mom that my Uncle Randy died this morning at 10am. I guess he collapsed yesterday, and when he ...

My boss is the biggest pain in ass. Well, that's the problem, he's not really my boss. He's my punk-ass supervisor. My real boss hired ...

"I'm a very important man, with lots of responsibilities, and if those responsibilities happen to take me to porn sites, well then you have no ...

I dreamt last night that my boyfriend was kissing another girl (blond) in front of me. What hurt me so much was his insistence that ...

Tyler said, picture yourself planting radishes and seed potatoes one the fifteenth green of a forgotten golf course. You'll hunt elk through the damp canyon forests ...

height: 5' 10" weight: 170 age: 21 my ideal jeopardy categories: procrastination web design comic books jeans & t-shirts as high fashion what i will do when i am global dictator misanthropy my top five ...

The higher the quality of the pizza when warm, the lower the quality of the pizza when cold. e.g., Domino's pizza is not very good when ...

10pm) 1/4 plate fondue, 1 plate schnitzel strips and fries, 3 shots Stolichnaya Vodka, 1 glass Cider Jack Hard Cider. 1am) 2 shots Schmirnoff Citrus Vodka, ...

TRUE STORY: One time I walked into the tek room and Steve ran up and said "Scott! I'm glad you're here! I have to show this ...

"You're not dying. You just can't think of anything good to do." -- Ferris Bueller

My uber-boss called a meeting this morning. 8:30am. Mandatory. That's three hours before I normally get up. Yes, I know it's not that early, but ...

oops... my mistake... I shouldn't have called her bitch. I should have called her ho-bitch.

So I walk into my speech class this morning and the prof starts handing back the tests, sees me and goes "Oh, we're going to ...

I'm a stand-up-comedian on the death star. I'm "entertaining" hoards of young children, all dressed like Darth Vader. I'm aware of the fact that these ...