Student Killed in Computer Explosion

PORTLAND, OR - Discovered amongst the smoldering wreckage of his computer, 22-year-old Scott Henry Vandehey was proclaimed dead in his apartment early Monday morning. Authorities arrived on the scene following a 911 call from his girlfriend, Anna Stockman.

His condition remained undiscovered for several hours following the explosion while his girlfriend slept undisturbed in the next room. “We have concrete walls, and I’m a heavy sleeper. I didn’t hear a thing. When I woke up, I smelled something funny, and there was this huge mess there in the living room,” sobbed Stockman.

According to demolition team experts brought in to inspect the situation, Vandehey’s monitor unexpectedly exploded, throwing bits of shrapnel-like-plastic and glass all over the room, almost completely destroying his muscular young body in the process.

Carrying his remains out of the apartment in a shoebox-sized evidence bag, police said they were not ruling out the possibility of foul play. “We have evidence suggesting that Ms. Stockman felt a strong rivalry for his attention from the computer.”

“He really loved that computer,” quoted close friend Katherine “KT” Prew, who was quick to point out they were not romantically involved at any time. Prew, currently single, was interviewed near the fire-truck, where she was writing her phone number on a fireman’s biceps.

Another friend of the deceased, Steven Havelka, upon hearing the news, remarked, “Scott who?”

The entirety of Vandehey’s estate was left to Prew, in a handwritten will she discovered. “It was just lying there in the rubble! He must have written it out just before the explosion.”

“I didn’t know Scott dotted his “I’s” with little hearts,” remarked Stockman.

Funeral services will be held in the office of the Tech Team at Portland State University, where Vandehey worked and spent much of his free time. “It’s a small room, with no windows, so it’ll be a quick ceremony,” stated his former boss, Shem Giles.

As written in the newly-discovered will, Vandehey’s ashes will be kept in an oddly-shaped glass vase in Prew’s living room. “I’ve been wondering what to keep in there, and Scott always liked it,” she remarked.