Gentlemen, as you can clearly see from my chart, productivity is skyrocketing here at Space Ninja Design. Our chief web producer has dramatically improved his output with the clever use of to-do lists, sleepless nights, and unemployment. We firmly believe that this three-fold strategy will catapult us to the top and make our brand a household name. Soon, children everywhere will be asking their parents for Space Ninja brand cereals and novelty items. Husbands will purchase Space Ninja window decals for their automobiles. Housewives will bring home Space Ninja infused cleaning products. Teachers will use Space Ninja approved textbooks.
In short, we’re headed for the big time, and it’s thanks to the work of one man: Scott Vandehey. Why, his work in the Personal Archive Project alone has already safeguarded dozens of early designs for future generations to marvel at. He increased efficiency in our Hatelife & KMorg Archives Department threefold. And, well, I shouldn’t be mentioning this, because it’s on a strict need-to-know basis, but I can assure you that he’s even accomplished some very nice programming work on unannounced project.
Rest assured, gentlemen, that your money is safe in our hands.
What’s that? Don’t be absurd, what do you mean you haven’t given us any money?
Well, how did you get past the armed guards and the dogs?
My God, we’ve got a real crisis here! Security! Detain these men! Have them strip-searched!
And for heaven’s sake, someone destroy that chart before anyone else sees it!
I'm a 30-year-old 
I would buy a window sticker for my car. =)
Let me know if you need any help. Once I get to Afghanistan, I’m going to have a LOT of time on my hands.
Sig
October 13th, 2005 at 6:10 am