Reality Show Dream

I had the craziest dream last night. To begin with, Steve and Miles and I are sitting around talking. Miles tells us that he’s getting in touch with his African heritage for a few minutes, and then leaves the room. When he returns a second later, he is carrying the Biggest Joint In The World. This thing was kinda rectangular, about a half inch high, about two feet wide, and like six feet long. We all took turns trying to figure out the proper way to smoke such a joint, and then I wandered out into the main room, where I discovered our Real-World style housemates. Until this point, I was unaware that we were on a reality-based TV show. One of our housemates had decided that the best way for the house to make money was to sell jam-covered pretzels, and he was upset that we hadn’t been there for the announcement, and he wouldn’t let me have more than one of the pretzels. Then I noticed one of the girls at the table was cutting off parts of her face and cooking them in a frying pan, and then eating them. She wasn’t in any pain, and it didn’t look like she was bleeding… just taking parts off. most of her right cheek was gone, and she was starting in on her breasts. That was a little too much to deal with, so I went out on the porch. As I stepped outside, my angry pretzel housemate warned me that “there’s been a lot of bug activity lately.” I discover that the house has a large wrap around balcony, and that the sides have been recently covered with bug screens, but they’re billowing away from the porch in the wind, and bugs were getting in anyways. They were small green annoying bugs that flew into your hair, but didn’t bite. I helped the ugly girl from Saturday Night Live finish nailing down the bug screen until she got a cell phone call. She was excited about it, and starting yelling to her friend inside that she was “back in the game.” Then I noticed that the house was very high in the air (this didn’t seem unusual, it was more like our house was one floor of a tall apartment building), and from up here, I could see that every person in the city’s phone was ringing. I watched the wave of phone calls move across the city, followed by excited people answering their phones, which for some reason, immediately caused a blackout. I could see a fire truck going to one house, and I remember being glad that I didn’t have a cell phone.