Freaky Girl with a Freaky Family

Freaky Girl with a Freaky Family
-or-
How I Narrowly Avoiding Having Good Sex With An Attractive Woman

It’s really hard to come up with different nicknames for these women and not just use their real names. After awhile they all sort of sound alike “The Freaky/Psycho Something Girl.” Oh well. On the off chance that one of them finds this journal, I don’t want to have to deal with them flipping out that I used their real names online. It’s already happened to me once. I posted some awful poetry once, and The Girl Who Ruined High School found it and got REALLY mad. Oh well… that’s another story. Today, I’m talking about Freaky Family Girl.

Let’s see… it would have been fall term of my senior year. I must have just broken up with the girl I cheated on High School girl with. I was still sharing a locker with that girl and life was pretty much sucky all around. Then I got a temporary respite. Outdoor School! A whole week away from all the people that hate me! And while I was there, I met a girl. We flirted around quite a bit, and all of the sixth graders concluded that we were married. We never kissed at Outdoor School, I don’t think. I do remember holding hands one night at the counselor meeting, which already felt pretty naughty. It’s something about the environment at outdoor school… you just don’t feel right doing much more than that.

So following a good week at Outdoor School, we hooked up. High School Girl was furious. As near as I can tell the reasoning went something like this: “Just because I don’t want you doesn’t me someone ELSE can have you!”

She didn’t stop me though, and I started seeing this girl regularly. I didn’t have a car (I still don’t), so she always had to drive me around, but she lived in town, so that wasn’t that bad. We went to different high schools, but still saw each other several times each week and every weekend. We never said I love you. We had a discussion about it, and decided that neither one of us really knew what love was, and that we didn’t feel comfortable saying it. So we said “I like you.” Which felt really dumb, but at least we weren’t deluding ourselves.

She had a huge family. A couple older siblings had already moved out, but there were at least four younger siblings in the house, along with innumerable pets. They had cats, dogs, ducks, chickens, and just about anything else you could possibly imagine as a pet. Her dad worked at a tech job at PSU, and never really said much to me. I don’t think he cared much about me one way or another, which was a nice change from High School Girl’s parents, who hated me.

(That reminds me. I forgot to mention the reason High School Girl’s parents hated me. It was because one time she decided to tell them about our sex life (or lack thereof). I’m sure in their minds, I immediately became the boy who stole their daughter’s innocence. They hated me.)

So her dad could have cared less about me, but her mom was always really nice to me. We seemed to get along well, and she seemed to approve of me.

Their house always made me uncomfortable. The animals and small children living in permanent filth and noise was just too much for me. But we were there all the time. She rarely wanted to leave.

She had a really odd relationship with her parents. They would smoke weed together one night, and be accusing each other of theft the next (as near as I can tell, her parents had access to her bank account and would take money from it, but she wouldn’t get a new one).

It was really uncomfortable all the time. We would make out in her room, and people would be running up and down the hall, and sometimes they would just open the door. Who knows how we ever felt safe enough to have sex. We did have sex, though it really wasn’t very good. I wasn’t happy with it, and I’m sure she wasn’t happy with it.

In hindsight, I think I was just too nervous at her house to perform well. I remember one time she pulled me into her closet and tried to go down on me, but I was so worried that someone would come in that I couldn’t get hard. Eventually she gave up and stomped off.

At the time, though, I had no idea. I kept thinking maybe it’ll get better soon. But I never felt comfortable around her family or house. The relationships between parents and child were all so dysfunctional, and every time I came over, someone was angry or crying.

I remember at the time feeling that the relationship couldn’t last, and that’s probably part of why I never really got into a deep relationship with her. I was sure it was going to end when we both graduated. I was going to PSU, and at the time she wasn’t sure where she was going (if anywhere). I didn’t think our relationship could survive much strain.

After what seemed like forever, we ended up deciding to break up. Oddly enough, I remember this as a good break up. It was clean and mutual. We both just decided that it wasn’t going to work and broke up for the summer.

After going to PSU for awhile, I found out that she ended up coming to PSU also. I never saw her on campus until she got a job at my favorite pizza place. I still see her there all the time, and she just pretends she doesn’t know me.

Now that I write this one out, I realize that our relationship wasn’t that bad. But it wasn’t good by any means. We were never very close, and I think the sex problem took its toll on us. Add that to the fact that we were constantly reaffirming the fact that we didn’t love each other and the fact that I felt horribly uncomfortable around her family and home, and it was bound to end eventually.