Yearly Archives: 2008

Twilight is Silly

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“When you read the book, it’s like, ‘Edward Cullen was so beautiful I creamed myself.’ I mean, every line is like that. He’s the most ridiculous person who’s so amazing at everything. I think a lot of actors tried to play that aspect. I just couldn’t do that. And the more I read the script, the more I hated this guy, so that’s how I played him, as a manic-depressive who hates himself. Plus, he’s a 108-year-old virgin so he’s obviously got some issues there.”
– Robert Pattinson on his audition for theTwilight movie

Want to Sell Coal in Poland?

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Hello,
Your resume was found on one of the job sites. We examined your candidacy and want to offer you a position in our company. If your resume changed, please send us an updated version to email, indicated at the end of the letter.

My name is Natalie Patton, I am a employee manager in the company Natural Resources Inc.

Briefly about our company: we deal with selling and purchasing of certificate on the coal in Europe. The first license for activity in Poland was provided in 1998. Nowadays, we have our offices and employees all over the world. We work with individual clients, as well as with corporations. Our central office is located in Poland.

We offer ideal conditions of work. All our employees are provided with a whole kit to have the possibility of working in every part of the world. Absolutely gratuitous we grant a laptop (brand Dell, HP or Apple) and mobile phone (brand Blackberry or iPhone), we pay for internet access and mobile communication. Once in a year we grant a 2-week vacation on the resorts of Poland.

We aren’t standing still and that is why having the European market conquered we move on to reach the U.S. one. The primary stage – is to form the staff. And namely you are offered a position in dynamically developing company.

At the stage of forming the staff we offer a possibility of flexible schedule or part-time occupancy.

Annual salary is $125,000. We appreciate well-educated employees; that is why if you have MBA, the raise in the salary is granted. Each certificate of degree is individual that is why the markup must be stipulated with head manager, after being accepted for employment.

With the expansion of the influence of our company in the U.S. market, promotion track is naturally granted to you.

We are always glad to answer all your questions and stipulate the conditions of collaboration. You can get in touch with us by phone (from 8 am till 6 pm, Monday-Friday) or through email in any time, convenient for you. We are looking forward to your answer.

Natalie Patton,
Natural Resources Inc
email address

I just got this spam, and I was cracking up reading it. The broken English is, of course, hilarious in its own right, but here are some of my favorite points:

  • They found your resume on “one of the job sites.” No need to be specific, you’ll know which one.
  • They’re happy to take your phone call, but don’t provide a phone number.
  • Having conquered the European coal market, they’re expanding to the US. So presumably, you’d be selling coal here in the states, but your vacation must be taken in Poland.

Motrin Messes with Mommy-Bloggers and Loses

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This morning, Annie told me about a Motrin ad that a bunch of mom-bloggers were angry about because it was critical of babywearing. She was really upset about it, and convinced that it was an intentional slam on mothers. Since I work in marketing, and Annie majored in Sociology, we tend to have conversations like this where Annie says advertising is evil, and I try to defend it.

In this case, I told her that I doubted it was anything intentional, and that it was probably a case of design-by-committee. Still, I asked her to send me the link so I could check the video out, and figured it would be a good conversation starter at work. Once I watched the video, though, I was startled by how bad it was. I could easily see why people were offended, and as I dug around online to find the details, what emerged was a fascinating story about a big company whose attempt to brand with their target audience backfired badly, and forced them to cancel an entire ad campaign.

To make a long story short (check out this Advertising Age article for all the gory details), the video was posted on Motrin’s website a few weeks ago. Last weekend, at the end of International Babywearing Week, an incredible combination of outraged blog posts, Twitter users, and YouTube replies led to the entire site being pulled offline on Sunday. It was put back up on Monday with an apology.

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New Xbox Experience: One Paragraph Review

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My Xbox Avatar

The new dashboard is really slick. The entire thing has been overhauled, to the point where it feels like a brand new console, rather than just a software upgrade. At first, it’s a little confusing if you’re used to the “blades” interface, because everything has been moved around and reorganized, but I think the new system actually makes more sense, and certainly leaves more room to grow. The interface is dramatically improved from a design perspective, and while it no longer feels like I’m “at the helm of the future,” the new design is certainly a better fit as part of a larger media center, which recognizes that games are just one part of what the xbox can do. The netflix integration works as expected, and there’s a higher emphasis placed on streaming content from your PC to your xbox. The biggest change, though, is the avatar system. Much like the miis on the Wii, these are good for making a caricature of yourself, but it’s hard to get something that looks just right. (In my case, I think it looks pretty good except for the skinny little cartoon neck, which makes it look too thin.) Of course, if you’re not trying to make a photorealistic one, there is quite a bit more potential for insanity. I haven’t had a chance yet to try the feature I’m most excited about — ripping games to the hard drive to improve stability — because I fell asleep during the 20-minute copy process.