Being the peril-filled tale of the first day of our heroes’ honeymoon.
The alarm went off at 8am, and Annie and I rolled out of bed for the last of the packing and cleaning we had to do before leaving. When we left at 11:30am, the house was clean, and I had left an entire white board of house-sitting instructions for Sean (which I had promised myself I wouldn’t do). I checked the time as we rolled onto I-5 heading South, and it was noon.
We got about an hour of solid driving in, and hit some heavy traffic around 1pm, and were reduced to under 10 MPH for the next two hours. Around 2pm I called my mom and dad and left them a message letting them know that we were in standstill traffic at Enchanted Forest. We amused ourselves by listening to Eddie Izzard comedy albums and taking photos of a weird truck. When the driver saw us taking photos, he rolled down his window and threw me a brochure. At 3pm, we finally rolled past a flatbed truck with some unidentifiable metal wreckage on the back. We figured out that it had taken us 2 hours to travel the 35 miles between Salem and Albany. We never did find out exactly what happened. One woman at the rest stop said it was an oil tanker that had exploded. Another couple said it was a nitrogen truck that had sprung a leak and it had taken all day to bleed the gas off safely. The only consistant detail was that it had happened early in the day, and had taken all day to clean up, so we wouldn’t have saved any time by leaving earlier.
After grabbing some lunch at the Burger King by the packed rest stop, we got back on I-5 for the remaining 6 hours of our drive. We saw a lot of hawks circling over the freeway during the whole trip, and at one point, one swooped down on the car, and came within maybe 50 feet of the driver’s side door, freaking Annie out. This would prove to be just the first of many encounters with wildlife on our honeymoon. Around sunset, we drove across the border into California, and shortly after that, as we drove through a dark stretch of forest road, a fawn ran out in front of the car. It didn’t just run straight across the road, it ran AT us. Annie slammed on the brake, and we came within a car’s length of hitting it. Luckily, there was no one behind us, so the only casualties were Annie’s nerves. We pulled into a rest stop so Annie could breath and stretch. While looking at a map, we decided that MapQuest was insane. We got directions to Brookings, Oregon, which is about 10 miles North of the border on 101, and MapQuest had us drive into California on I-5, get on 199 going West, then onto CA-197 going NorthWest and merge onto 101 just south of the border. We haven’t had a chance to check, but there has GOT to be a better place to cross over onto 101 in Oregon that doesn’t have us drive a huge loop through the Redwoods in California just to get to 101.
Regardless, by this point it was too late to do anything about it, so we got back into the car, and proceeded through the redwoods. We saw glimpses of big trees in the dark, and a dead deer by the side of the road, and eventually got onto 101 and drove into Brookings at about 10pm. The operators of the Bed and Breakfast (who we had called during the traffic jam to say we were going to miss the 7pm check-in), gave us a warm welcome and showed us around the place, which was decorated in the crazy eclectic style that Annie loves. There was a hot tub on the porch, and we decided we’d use it as soon as we got some dinner. Not much was open at this point, so we ended up at a place called the Apple Peddler.
It looked like a Denny’s that had given itself a paint-job and was trying to be higher-class that it really was. Still, all we wanted was some food, and Denny’s would have been fine at that point. The waitress took our orders, and after awhile brought us our food. I had ordered a French Dip sandwich, but she had forgotten the Au Jus sauce. When I mentioned this, she said “Oh, yeah, our french dip is all full of grease.” And told us about how the night shift had come on late. At no point did she explain why she hadn’t mentioned this when she took my order, or offer me any alternatives to my dry French-Dip-less sandwhich. Only later did it occur to me that I should have gotten it for free, or at least have gotten her to bring me something else. I was so tired and hungry that I just ate it, and didn’t tip her. When we got back to the bed and breakfast, we were too tired for the hot-tub and just fell right into bed.
I'm a 30-year-old 
Slight correction
Salem to Albany is 16-20 miles, not 35. So it was worse than you thought [vbg]
September 27th, 2003 at 8:18 pm
Better Route
Most folks take I-5 to Grants Pass, then cut over to 101 by way of hwy 199. You do end up just south of the Oregon/California border, but it’s an easy, pleasant drive that puts you right onto hwy 101.
September 27th, 2003 at 8:25 pm
that sunset picture is beautiful. i have some fond memories of that drive and of that part of the country.
you really have to drive it, too..flying, say, down to the bay area just isn’t the same. the sense of transition is different..modern and mechanical, i guess. not so much a ‘journey’ as an ‘event.’
September 27th, 2003 at 9:04 pm
Cali Border
Well as I’m sure Urn will point out, at least you got to go through the California border. “Any friuts or vegitables to declare?” I love talking to those people. :-)
September 28th, 2003 at 9:03 am
Nope!
No border checkin where we drove… just a sign that says “Welcome to California!” …Maybe we had already gotten off I-5 at that point?
September 28th, 2003 at 10:52 am
Did you keep …
… the brochure? That is the most amazing truck I’ve ever seen.
September 28th, 2003 at 11:00 am
they’re not doing that anymore!
it just changed. or so i heard.
at least, i think i’m right. i could’ve dreamt it, but i doubt that this one is fictional.
September 28th, 2003 at 12:04 pm
brochure
Yeah, we kept the brochure, but I couldn’t find it. It’s in a bag somewhere. In the meantime, I linked to the website, which says it has the brochure on it.
September 28th, 2003 at 2:39 pm
Maybe…
They did it when I went through there in June. And they had also just repaved the whole thing, giving me the feeling it wasn’t going anywhere. It was perfunctory as ever though. Also it is actually several miles south of the actual border (more than 10) so it is quite easy to miss.
I usually open up my viles of gnats just before we pull up, and scream “FLY FAST YOU DEVILISH FRUIT EATERS!!! HAHAHA!!” just out of earshot of the fruity police.
Sasha
September 28th, 2003 at 2:51 pm
medford!
well then you must have passed through my hometown of medford! i hope you floored it through there as fast as possible.
there used to be an apple peddler in medford, i think. i never went to it.
getting from southern oregon to the coast is a pain. there is no direct route. all routes are miles and miles of twisting, winding roads. going through the redwood forest probably had better scenery than any of them, too.
did you happen to pass by Hobbiton? it’s a park in the redwoods just south of the border, on 101 i think, full of many many small statues of hobbits. i think it’s another example of that part of the country driving people insane.
September 29th, 2003 at 6:20 am
Ha ha!!
See… I never thought of letting the gnats do it themselves. I’m usually strapping them to my chest in a vest-bomb kinda deal. When they ask if I have anything to declare, I open my jacket and hold a detonator in my hand and start screaming demands.
One usually flies up my nose when I eventually set the thing off. I hate that.
September 29th, 2003 at 9:05 am
but…
I know it’s stupid, but after playing around on their website, I want one. :)
But what the heck would I do with it?
September 29th, 2003 at 11:05 am
I think you know…
a better question is what _wouldn’t_ you do with?
Go get groceries, go to the mall, take your pretty lady around town, run over small furry animals or the elderly….
September 29th, 2003 at 1:20 pm
yeah…
Especially the elderly.
*shudder* Old people….
September 29th, 2003 at 2:02 pm
I know!
I WANT ONE TOO!!!!
September 30th, 2003 at 4:06 pm