In which our heroes engage in the act of matrimony.

The wedding day actually went by pretty quickly. My alarm went off at 8:30am, and I got dressed and walked down the street to Bishop’s Barber Shop. This came at the urging of KT, who the previous day had remarked “Your hair makes you look ugly. And fat.” Or some such similarly complimentary remark, I forget the exact wording. We had called the barber shop to see what time they opened, and they said we didn’t need an appointment for a shave and a haircut, we should just show up when they open. So we arrived at the front door at 9am to find them still closed. After retreiving some coffee and muffins from the starbucks nearby, we returned to find an open barber shop containing one woman, horrified that all three of us wanted shaves and haircuts. Not wanting to take up all of her precious time, Urn valiantly volunteered to forgoe his trims. Next, the helpful shopkeeper informed us that she had never shaved anyone before, and we’d be better to wait until 10am, when her coworker was arriving. We agreed to let her give us our haircuts, and then wait to get shaved later. I got in the chair first and was treated to the roughest haircut I have ever received. The woman was literally digging into my scalp with the shaver, to the point where I finally had to say something, at which she pressed just a little less hard. Finally, she finished, and announced that she would use her trimmer to prepare my chin for a full shave later. She started in, and promptly shaved off a large chunk of my goatee.

At the look of horror on my face, she asked “Oh, you wanted a full shave, right? …No? Uh, I can fix it!” To be fair, she did manage to trim it up fairly well, but any credit she may have earned by this point was fully erased when she walked out at 10:10 and announced that her coworker was coming in at 11am, not 10 after all. By this point, were were already running late for getting into our tuxes, so we paid her and left.

Returning to my house, we all quickly showered, shaved, and got into our tuxedos, threw the stereo equipment for the wedding into Urn’s car, and took off for Bridal Veil. From this point onwards, everything happened roughly a half hour after it was scheduled. We showed up at 12:30 instead of noon, Steve and Miles showed up at 1pm instead of 12:30, we started family portraits at 2pm (or maybe later), and started the ceremony between 3:30 and 4pm.

Despite all that, the day went off without a hitch. Everyone looked smooth and deadly, we got tons of great photos, compliments on every aspect of the day, from music to location to food, and even had fantastic weather. Everyone we saw looked happy and hardly anyone looked stressed. Everyone laughed at the right parts of the ceremony, like when Steve and I walked down the aisle to the Imperial March from Star Wars, or when my unity candle taper blew out and I had to re-light it on Annie’s. I thought more people would laugh at the “Remember you are entering into a partnership, not a battle” line that we had the officiant slip into her speech. Still, everything was low-key and fun, which was what we wanted. Annie was so happy she even forgot to cry at the ceremony, and wanted to skip down the aisle.

The reception was a blur. At one point, Sean fetched me a glass of spiked punch (and looked very pleased with himself). At another point, our marriage license fell onto a candle, burning a neat hole right in the middle (I think it’s just the decorative copy, though, so we’re still legally married). I gave all the groomsmen flasks for a gift, and they all made good use of them for the rest of the day, filling them with liquor (or in one case, white zinfandel). I saw all of the small children we invited running all over, having a blast, and being pursued by mothers and grandmothers. Awhile after sunset, Annie and changed into our civilian clothes and got into the car and took off for the Columbia Gorge Hotel, where we spent the night in a very very nice room.