Well, boys and girls, let me tell you about the good ole days with Gary Dirin.
Gary Dirin began his humble life as a bastard child of a Russian politician and a Sicilian whore. Not the most likely of occurences, but Gary Dirin was not the most ordinary type of chap.
After being adopted by a wealthy Swedish couple, Gary Dirin was enrolled in a public school, where he underwent undue humiliation by his peers for admitting that he was a “small fan” of Ace of Base. With a freshly-learned command of the English language, Gary Dirin left Sweden after graduation with his Swedish girlfriend, a eighty year old milkmaid by the name of Danaka. However, this union was not to be for long, as Danaka developed a fatal case of the crabs shortly after taking a job at a burlesque house. Gary Dirin spent many a night crying himself to sleep, until a mysterious vision of the Grand Poobah inspired him to hit the road once again, looking for his lot in life.
Gary Dirin found his calling in the populous-infected city of Vancouver, where he applied at a local college and started a website advertising his web design skills.
Occaisionally, Gary can be found writing humorous monologues on choose.killingmachines.org under the pseudonym of system_error. Sometimes, he makes the trip to the Americas in order to stalk Scott, the site’s creator, whom he describes as “genious, in a disturbing sort of way”. Gary Dirin maintains a weblog at garydirin.blogspot.com, and invites the regulars of kmorg to check it out.
That’s about it, boys and girls. He was, and still is, a major inspiration to me in my own life. Wait a minute…
I give any and all visitors full and complete permission to vandalize and abuse this forum. Should make for quite a few laughs. I see you all are doing quite well with this ideal, anyway.
Yo, Scott, might you possess any manner of bastardized instant messaging programs? I’d sure like to harass you more than I usually do. I also have a request, but I’ll wait for that. It has to do with your immesurable writing talent.
Anyway, peace out, chaps and chapettes.
Jeremy out.
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