Oh man. City life rules. Ha!
I was walking home from Chi Kung tonight, imagining what I would tell my future Japanese students about life in the United States, when this dude shuffled up behind me and asked for a cigarette. I didn’t have one, I don’t smoke. The shuffling got very fast all of a sudden.
I pivoted to see this black kid crouch-walking towards me with a push-broom handle held out to one side, two-handed, like you would hold a baseball bat.
Awkward social situation: Is this what it looks like? Do I hit him? What do I do? I started sinking into my stance.
When he swung, I threw a generic karate block that broke the stick with a really reassuring SNAP, then punched him in the face. Confusion. It didn’t feel like a solid blow, and his two friends were moving in on me, so I turned and ran for brightly-lit 15th avenue.
They chased me for about a block before they gave up, yelling, “what up, my nigga!” “what up, blood!” “what up!” Dumbass kids, their pointless existence leads them to this. I blame America. At the same time, I think you forfeit your privileges in the moment you attack someone. They were probably expecting to just run up and crack me in the back of the head.
Anyway. I got away, they got away. I had a bottle of liniment with me (for Chi-Kung, yo) so I rubbed some on my arm as I walked home and it doesn’t look like it’s going to bruise up too bad.
Hello, class. Let me tell you about life in America.
scott
Wow! That’s a crazy story! I’m glad you weren’t hurt. I wonder if that kid is wandering around town telling his friends about this guy he was gonna hit with a broom handle when he suddenly spun around and broke the broom handle in two and punched him in the face!
Alex
Damn… umm the phrase OMFG comes to mind!That’s crazy… glad you’re okay!–Alex
Kris in awe
Holy sh*t! OMG…I’m glad you’re ok Miles!!Sounds like your martial arts are paying off! Maybe those punks will think twice before attacking a seemingly unarmed person! I hope you broke that guy’s nose! >:(
ANi
Shit dude…this strengthens my resolve to take some form of self defense in portland…I couldn’t look threatening if I tried…or mabye you can just be my body gaurd at night :)
Mr. Bread
Shit.Where the hell do you take Chi-Kung? I’ve never seen anything like that in Portland.’Course, now I’m in NYC. And I’ve only seen drunken people fighting out here.. . . must learn aikido . . .
steve
score! way to go man :)
KT
Thats awful, miley, I’m glad you hit him in the nose, thats what he gets for trying to hit someone with a broom.
miles
haha, you understand. "hey… all that training was worth the money!!"My technique was pretty poor though. What if he’d had an aluminum bat? I probably wouldn’t have reacted the same way, but the point is, this resolves me to work on my stance more. I didn’t have good mobility or power. It’s like, if your body’s natural posture isn’t the one your techniques were designed to work with, the techniques just aren’t going to happen in a fight. Got to work the basics.
steve
yeah, i was thinking about the poekoelan basics we work for that kind of attack on the dog walk this morning..the difference is that in poekoelan, you basically stay light on your feet and move into close range to take out the limb holding the weapon, and from there you’ve got options again..we should get together and compare notes for weapons attacks!
miles
Chi-Kung isn’t a martial art, although it’s symbiotic with a lot of martial arts. What we do is mostly just stand and breathe.I practice with a group in northeast… the teacher is this big-bellied Tibetan guy who lives in Puyallup, visits Portland once a month to show us new stuff and check up on us. I asked him about Aikido once, and he said it was "damn good," which is strong praise coming from him.
Alex
As aikido is the only martial art i’ve had any experience with, I give it thumbs up!That’s about the equivalent of me recommending a really good eye-liner, but hey.Aikido is very stance oriented, second to throwing. The equivalent in aikido probably would have been to grab that dudes weapon arm and then chuck him across the street. The teacher I took my few classes from in Ashland was about 5’6", and about 180, and he would routinely throw the 250+ 6′+ guys around like rag dolls. It was mind boggling.It’s way cool.–Alex
steve
uh oh.. urge to brag about style .. rising ..urge to tell stories of the masters .. rising ..must .. apply .. self-control!
Kris
Hey Steve…this reminds me…I’ve been meaning to ask…are you back in Poekoelan or planning to start up again? Dat was cool. :)
reggie
as a jackass whose opinions are totally irrelevant to anything, i figured i would contribute to this thread.SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT.thanks!P.S. EVERYONE:i recommend the ancient art of ‘stolichnaya,’ it is very drink oriented, and beautiful, and harmonious.old master kamchatka was so educated in the Way that he could drink me under the table
robo-steve
my metallic hands will pummel you all into submission! your puny "styles" mean nothing faced with with my rocket-propelled, detaching fists! ha, ha! Once again proving a synthetic individual is unquestionably superior to a manEND OF LINE_
miles
yeah, in arnis you typically skip into close range to the side opposite the attack, then either go for a disarm, takedown, or flurry of strikes. But I’m rusty. I haven’t practiced Aikido long enough for it to come out in a surprise situation.
Dad ... B-)
Scott … you should tell Miles about your Grandpa’s friend, the 70 year old karate expert and his adventure in the park.
scott
what what? I don’t think I’ve heard this story… Maybe _you_ should tell it!
E. Megas
Sadly, I know how this is. <CHEAPANECDOTE> One day, long ago, I was "banished" to my grandparents’ house as punishment. It was around the border to the Watts area, a bad neighborhood for caucasians to live. So I was returning from a walk, and two kids on the opposite side of the street-13 or 14-ish, likely on their way to school-Saw me, pointed at me, laughed and giggled "You going to die!" Thinking nothing of it, I kept walking, turned the corner into the alcove leading back to the street the house was on. Right about then, a rock (Around four inches in diameter, from my best recollection) smashed into the alcove wall, not two inches from my head. I turned to look, saw the kids pointing and laughing. The rock was from nearby demolition, pure concrete. IF it had hit, I’m not sure what it would have done to me; concussion at the least, brain aneurism at the most, I suspect. I might not have been telling this now…But needless to say the kids likely didn’t give a damn about consequences. So I ran like hell, just in case they wanted to try again and they didn’t miss. </CHEAPANECDOTE> Maybe the story’s ineffective in this context…But yeah, Miles, I’ve had that sort of brush with a meaningless death. My only comfort is that it could’ve been much worse, though my situation was pathetic compared to yours. (I suppose you at least were in range-And had the defense skill-To be able to change your outcome, but still…) It’s relative, I guess. Just trying to make you feel a little better…Likely failed. But glad you got through it in any case.
Dad ... B-)
Grandpa had a fraternity brother who was into Karate and worked his way up through various layers of black belt. I don’t know enough about martial arts to tell you which … just that he worked at it and reached high levels of expertise.Although no longer interested in competition, he kept it up all his life as a good way to stay in shape after he retired.So, one evening, when he was in his early 70′s, he was walking through Portland’s park blocks and ran afoul of this gang of free lance socialists who offered to lighten his load by relieving him of any interesting items he might be carrying. I suppose, being 70+, he must have looked like a soft touch.When they pressed their offer, he put them all in the hospital. I would gladly have paid money to watch.