(republished from a comment Sean made)
I recently saw Hollow Man. I wasn’t going to at first, but now that the KOIN has been bitchslapped by Regal from an arthouse to a discount house, I’ve got more motivation to see mainstream crap, namely that I can do it free at the KOIN where I feel safe. And there’s noone else watching them.
So I saw Hollow Man. It was alright, because they were trying to be a cool action flick for the second half. If you get past the rape scene, then it’s almost interesting. But then you get to the parts where Kevin Bacon defies physics: just because you’re invisible doesn’t make you superman.
- When you get blasted by a flamethrower and rip off your burning clothes, but there’s still crap on you that’s visible, it doesn’t just flake off BECAUSE THAT’S YOUR BURNED FLESH!!! And even if it did just flake off, yeah you’re invisible again, but you’ve got exposed muscle tissue.
- Unless you’ve been seriously sharpening it, you cannot run up behind someone and ram a crowbar all the way through their ribcage, then slide it back out and kill someone else with it.
- If you’ve had the ‘hook’ of a crowbar stuck into your stomach(again, it’s not that sharp), the odds of it not hitting any vital organs(like your intestines?) is slim. The odds of the horrible gash being securely sealed up with duct tape is slimmer. And even supposing those first two were true, you cannot then go on to participate in an action sequence, because the tape would fall off and you’d bleed to death!
But enough of that. Hollow Man was okay. My main beef was that they tossed out all options for a sequel by killing Bacon at the end!
Then I came up with a brilliant idea for Hollow Man 2. First off, we’d need an awesome hong kong wire team for the stunts. Plus more special effects.
Okay: genius scientist Bacon develops invisibility serum, goes crazy, tries to kill his labmates to keep himself secret. Gets captured and locked up.
Then, after several years, once he’s gone completely insane, he escapes. Redevelops the formula, and gives it to his badass commando team. Then he and his invisible commandos try to take over the world!
To stop them, the government gives the invisibility serum to a team of good guy commandos, and the invisible battles begin!
Imagine a secret base, inside the armory or something. There’s an invisible bad guy and an invisible good guy in there. Neither can see each other. They have to throw things and shoot guns off around the room trying to locate their opponent, without giving away their own location at the same time, meaning firing off a shot, tossing the gun aside and jumping to the left, then watching for a response. Or throwing knives or something.
Imagine the invisible fistfight! Once they find each other, they start beating the tar out of each other. We see nothing but the occasional spray of blood as a punch connects!
Then I realized that was silly. One of the problems of hollow man: as he had transparent eyelids, he couldn’t close his eyes. Reality? He wouldn’t be able to see, as light wouldn’t be reflecting off of his eyes. How to fix this? Either invisible people are blind, or their eyes are visible and to be fully invisible they have to cover them.
This would turn that scene into two guys standing in a big room, with their eyes closed, blinking them open every few seconds hoping to spot their opponent w/o being seen, and then attacking them while blind…
to be worth watching, the whole movie would have to take place in some place where they’d be partially visible: sprinklers going, smoke venting, lasers all over the place(maybe they just refract light around them, so the laser’s refraction would be visible?) or something like that. But I think it could work…