Scott’s little brother should be given $150,000,000 to make movies. I Just ran into him on the bus and he explained his vision for a Star Wars Action movie: not like that slow-moving Episode One, no! Sean wouldn’t break up the lightsaber duels with all that other stuff!

Highlights would include:

• The dark jedi whose entire body is cybernetic…. except the head! After all his mechanical limbs get severed, the head pops off and quickly slithers into a giant robot.
• The separated twins!! Siamese twins who were split at birth, one is EVIL and has a cyborg right side, while the other is GOOD and just uses the Force to fill out his left sleeve and pants-leg. Of course they fight! Bad Jedi:” Ha, I chopped of your cybernetic arm! Hey, what the–? There was nothing there!”
• The rooftop fight scene between two martial-arts Jedi! Only, the two are each on separate rooftops a half-mile apart, glaring at each other across the gap and fighting via the power of the Force! Cut to the good guy, wrestling with thin air. Cut to the bad guy, wrestling with thin air. Pan. Close-up. Echoey telepathic trash-talk, his lips not moving.

Is this not Genius? Seriously — imagine this, made into a straight faced $100M Hollywood production. And imagine the night of the premier:

Audience: Hahahaha! Whoo!

Sean: Why do they keep laughing?

And the awards ceremony:

M.C.: And I present director Vandehey with this award for the highest-grossing movie of the season, his camp masterpiece, Star Wars Action!

Sean: [gnashing teeth] “Camp?”

To be fair, he has a high appreciation for trash movies like Godzilla, so he’s not entirely unselfconscious — BUT THEN AGAIN, how self-conscious are any of the traditional Godzilla movies?!? Aha — Lunacy trumps irony! It’s the unintentional honesty — the unintentional honesty of the completely out-of-control artist — that makes it work! NYES! Excellent!

At any rate, I would definitely pay $7.50 to see a Sean Vandehey-directed film.

Sean has a website at nyarlo.net but there’s no concept art there… it’s about Gundam toys and stuff.