My uber-boss called a meeting this morning. 8:30am. Mandatory. That’s three hours before I normally get up. Yes, I know it’s not that early, but when you’re used to getting up at a certain time, getting up 3 hours earlier is a pain. The topic of the meeting is a “secret.” So we all show up to shitty pastries and bad coffee and a token jug of cheap orange juice. He sits us all down and begins rambling. Ten minutes later he confesses that the meeting was about him leaving for another job in July. He rambles for a full half hour after that. I mean it, the man said nothing constructive. It was a meeting for him to summarize all the good he’s done the university.

Why did I have to be there? I don’t know him personally, and I don’t care what he’s done. He wasn’t talking to me. So why did I lose 3 hours of sleep?

I’ll tell you something though. When I quit, the mandatory meeting will be four hours long.